Mom, PhD

May 24, 20201 min

Mental Health Awareness Month: Part 1

Updated: Jul 8, 2020

At the end of March, Glamour published my most vulnerable essay to date for their Goals Issue. Some of you may know that I've struggled with depression throughout my life. My mental health issues became severe after I left for Dartmouth College when I was 18. This essay is about the collision of academic ambition, burnout, and trauma that forced me to walk away from my dream college.

At the time, life was bleak. I didn't think I'd ever graduate from college or even have a normal life. But I didn't give up. I fought to finish my bachelor's degree and then a master's program. Now I'm working on a Ph.D. at Berkeley with a loving family and a promising career.

I don't really talk about why I didn't go back to Dartmouth because I was ashamed. I didn't even want to publicize this essay because I was afraid of how people would react. But I'm committed to abolishing the stigma of mental illness. I've set a resolution to be brave about sharing stories that may be uncomfortable for others to hear. I hope this essay can help those who have been through similar experiences and others who are seeking to understand mental illness and the people behind it. Thanks for reading, as always. Feel free to share your stories with me and reach out anytime @momphdblog.

[Trigger Warning: depression, drug use, rape]

"Getting My Ph.D. Was a Lifelong Goal. Doing it With Postpartum Depression Wasn't in the Plan."